When Diane reached her crisis point, our relationship with foods and fluids changed forever. Prior to that, I was not picky about what I ate because I usually craved balanced meals, so I didn’t worry about specific diets. I just tried to eat smart. However, that all changed when Diane reached the point of serious dehydration and malnutrition. That weekend, I went through our pantry and fridge, tossing or giving away all those food items that were no longer suitable for Diane. Although she insisted that I should eat what I like, we needed a plan that worked for both of us, especially since our children are grown and it’s just the two of us in the house.
Diane is a great cook and has always enjoyed making delicious meals and deserts. She takes after her mother, who is an awesome cook and baker. But things had to change, and those changes took some adjustment. After the initial struggle, we are now an almost gluten-free, low FODMAP, and lactose-free household, all while eating a variety of tasty food. By the way, while these changes saved Diane, they helped me, too. I feel better, I lost a few extra pounds, and I don’t miss much when it comes to foods and beverages. So here are some thoughts to pass along, aside from the diets and hydration changes above.
Simple ingredients –
If there is one piece of advice that I can pass along, use simpler ingredients- the simpler the better. I am not the best cook, but the phrase “simple ingredients” is something Diane usually repeats while making her new tasty dishes. We cannot explain the reason, but it works; try it for yourself and watch the difference.
Salt and pepper –
While “Fody” and “Rachel Pauls” offer a safe line of spices for barbecue, cooking, etc., Diane usually prefers salt and pepper as the first option. Let me point out that with her Italian background, we are used to foods full of flavor. Honestly, her adjusted recipes for spaghetti sauce, meat loaf, stir fry, etc. are to die for, and are all seasoned with just salt and pepper, and with a touch of love, of course.
Quality food –
Diane does the grocery shopping, as I am not usually allowed. I am not incapable or lazy by any means, but she likes to do the shopping and she is simply much better at it than I am. But what I have now learned from her about shopping is QUALITY food. I can understand this when it comes to cars, electronics, and household stuff. All tomatoes and cucumbers look the same to me, organic or not. But she swears by the difference. So, if you can afford it, go for quality, go for natural and organic; she believes it makes a big difference. Is it a placebo? who knows.
Shopping at the grocery store –
This is a new start, and so you need to develop a relationship with stores that have what you need and brands that offer products to your satisfaction. We have provided you with a head-start above based on our eating habits. But you need to explore further on your own, based on quality, ingredients, and what you like to eat.
Pantry stocked for the whole family –
When the kids were younger, our kitchen was stocked with stuff from across the spectrum. Then, during the time Diane was experiencing her ongoing sensitivity and reactions, our pantry and fridge looked anemic for a while. But with time, both our pantry and fridge are now looking stocked and healthy again. This didn’t happen overnight. First we started with the basics and sure-shot items, then we added those new favorites that we discovered and had success with. Now we are finally back to being fully stocked.
Cooking for the whole family –
Most families enjoy gathering around the dinner table, especially during weekends, celebrations, and holidays. When Diane was experiencing all those reactions and sensitivities, our usual family gatherings slowed down for a while as we tried to figure things out, and we were all supportive. Today, we are back on track inviting the kids again for our usual family meals, after all those adjustments that we had to make to our meal choices and ingredients.
Restoring your relationship with food –
For a while, Diane’s relationship with food was going south, and I needed to step in and help. Things got bad to the point that she stopped getting hungry, which made matters worse. Once we realized what was going on, it took months of changes and adjustments, until she was able to have better daily meals and intake. Bouncing back took some work and patience until we figured out what she was sensitive to and what foods cause reactions. Today I am happy to report that I am no longer her personal assistant for hydration and nutrition; she is completely in charge of her own food and fluid intake, and I am just supportive and available for help when needed. In fact, she has been going out to restaurants with friends and coworkers again, something that she was not able to do for a while. She has also been in the kitchen when time allows, planning new meals and recipes, which is refreshing to watch. So if you, or someone you support, has hEDS or digestive issues, we understand what you are going through. We hope this will help you turn things around, and that you or your patient will be able to graduate into a normalized relationship with food again.